I have had a bit of writer’s block lately. And for someone who is usually never short on words, that can be a very frustrating experience.
It has been a time of immense work frustration and stress. There are long days, with little progress, and even less support. Our teams are dwindling, and the workloads are becoming (even more) unmanageable.
By nature, I am a fixer…a problem solver. So I put my head down and work. I identify problems, propose solutions…and put the work in to fix it. But when those efforts are futile it starts to wear on you and can take the joy out of the rest of your life.
Unfortunately, this work stress and dissatisfaction has coincided with an adventure I had the highest of hopes for. I find myself exhausted at the end of each workday, and have to force myself to muster the energy just to go get my steps in, let alone do any exploring or adventuring. At times I feel insanely guilty to have so much newness at my fingertips, but no ambition to find the motivation to take it all in.
I do not for one second regret taking the leap to travel for the winter. It is a privilege and I continue to want to make the most of it. I want to share the realities of being on the road for months at a time, and the truths of real life hurdles that can get in the way of making the most of it.
But it is also a learning opportunity. It is helping me learn things about my current working situation that I need to put on the red flag list for future opportunities. I may not know exactly what I want to do in my career, but I know what I do not want to do and that is half the battle.
I am learning that while travel is immensely important to me, and I will continue to do much more of it, I am missing a sense of community and routine. I think back to my time in Los Angeles. The people I shared my days with, the gym classes I was in 3 times a week with the same people, the consignment shop I visited weekly, the bar where they knew my name (mostly cause I was the weirdo who came in for wings and tea), the cafe manager that welcomed me back after 2 years as if I had never left. A sense of belonging. I think I have learned over the last almost 5 months of travel…that that feeling may be what is most important to me.
When I set out on this journey I had thought that maybe I would find a town or city that spoke to me, that made me feel so at home I would want to move there for good, or that I would figure out what I wanted and where I wanted to be. I think I have done just that, if only not in the way I anticipated.